


Breakfast

by reject_sheep



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M, probably an au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 02:54:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1841644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reject_sheep/pseuds/reject_sheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Natasha can't stop laughing & Clint is a giant dork.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> Because "I will fix you with mah looooooooooove" is boring, and I wanted some "we are both so broken it is super-hilarious yes this coffee pot is for drinking out of and we can eat cookie dough ice cream for every meal if we want to but we will also eat burgers sometimes why is Nat laughing at us can we can also pretend to be birds whatever Nat."

“WHAT?” Clint said, face buried in his coffee pot.

“Not a damn thing,” Natasha struggled to get the sentence out without laughing, and failed miserably. “Any chance you have, uh, another coffee pot around?”

“Ummmmmmmmmm.”

Bucky made his entrance at that moment, slurping lukewarm coffee from another pot.

Natasha fell over, landing on the couch, laughing so loudly and for so long Clint was pretty sure the neighbors were going to be asking questions later.

Bucky sidled over to him and whispered, “What’s gotten into her?”

“APPARENTLY she thinks our great tragic love exists merely to entertain her!”

“Oh.” Bucky slurped more coffee. “Does that mean I don’t get breakfast?”

Clint made an incoherent noise of rage.

Natasha was still laughing, but she managed to gather herself sufficiently to say, “Bucky, darling, I’ll buy you breakfast if you tell me all about it.”

Bucky glared at her, glared at the now-empty coffee pot, and glared at Clint’s retreating backside. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, Nat.”

“But I’ve slept with both of you, I know neither one of you is a gentleman.”

“Dammit, Natasha!” Bucky made a face. “I mean, she’s right … wait a minute, you two? You didn’t tell me _that_ , Clint, what the fuck?”

“Oh god. It was ill-advised, ok?” There were sounds of rustling and Clint’s head emerged from the nest, tucked up against the ceiling. “We were in Budapest.”

“I enjoyed it,” Natasha said, “but once was enough.”

“Shut UP, Nat. YOU’RE NOT HELPING. We are TRYING to be TRAGIC and BROKEN here.”

“Seriously. Look at my eyeliner, Natasha, do you think this just happens?”

“Actually, Bucky, they tattooed that on you. To make you scarier. Or something. I don’t understand Hydra’s motivation sometimes.”

“DAMMIT NATASHA,” the two men shouted in unison.

She snickered one more time, said, “You two can be tragic and broken all you want, but Steve and I are going to get breakfast. Stark burned something in the kitchen and we’re pretty sure it’s not food-safe right now.”

“Hell.” Clint said, “it’s hard work sulking, and there are some great trees to perch in — you want to come perch with me? We can drop acorns on passers-by, it’s hilarious — and if Stark burned out the kitchen, all I have to eat is a bag of sunflower seeds and sixty-seven TastyKake butterscotch krimpets. We ate all the ice cream last night.”

Bucky grimaced. “I don’t understand how you can eat those things, Clint. Being in the circus did something to you.”

“Of course it did! That’s my tragic backstory!”

“I know, honey, I know.” Bucky moved to comfort Clint, who was doing one of his “I could kill you with my face” faces, and said “let’s go get breakfast, and then you can show me your perch.”

Natasha guffawed. “Is that what you’re calling it? Hey, do you guys mind if Sam comes along? Steve just texted me.”

Bucky sighed, and clung more tightly to Clint. “Fine. It’s fine. I can’t believe he replaced me with a bird-man.”

Clint, without letting go of Bucky, said, without heat, “Hey. What the fuck, man?”

“God, you two. Come on. I need food if I’m going to keep listening to this crap.”

Bucky and Clint both smiled at her beatifically and said, “You’re the one who asked.”


End file.
